If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
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