Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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