Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
as a side note pls kill me
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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