He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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