I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
