The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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