he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
