i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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