You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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