Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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