I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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