he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
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The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
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Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect