Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I want her autograph on my taint
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?