Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(423): View more from Tennessee

Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.

Fav 37 4434 1319
share tweet
(281): View more from Texas

Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?

(281): View more from Texas

Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"

Fav 24 1670 4612
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(661): View more from California

May God have mercy on my new vibrator.

Fav 98 8785 1331
share tweet
(309): View more from Illinois

I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.

Fav 14 3878 1505
share tweet
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(512): View more from Texas

Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.

Fav 7 2856 1517
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.

Fav 2 1799 779
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.

Fav 5 733 1859
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs

Fav 2 249 288
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.

Fav 2 42 1
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT