i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
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Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
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This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."