Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER