You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Semen is not good for contacts.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
