There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
