glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
