I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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