do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Randomize
