a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
