dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She even gives head with a lisp.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
