Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
