We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
