The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Strip Simon Says: DO IT