i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.