Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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