I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
do herpes really smell.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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