my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
