Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
