what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize