a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
