i think my mom watched the whole time
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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