the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
