TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
