Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It's official drugs can't kill me
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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