i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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