And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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