so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
