Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
