My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
