Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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