i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
