I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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