I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
