yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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