i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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