I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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