so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.