so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It's shark week go big or go home
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
