found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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