This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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