i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
