sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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