youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
