Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
