oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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