maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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