This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize