There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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