Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
