i love accidental penises.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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