i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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