do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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