your room smells of hookers.
And success
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
