There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
