put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
you made out with another girl for some wings
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
