But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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