I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
