the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
