bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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