Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
