butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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