Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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