This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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