I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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